The Power of "Thoughts"

First, I would like to say that most times during the day I would claim that I {we} have the perfect marriage. Our love is something that has always been very natural, and amazingly grows each day.

At the same time, I am always struggling for new ways to make SURE that Justin knows how I feel about him. Sometimes this task is hard because of the way I think.

Lately, I have been flat out overwhelmed.

The end of school for Carys and Sawyer means LOTS of notes to return and five dollars here and there for this and that. I must openly admit that YES, teachers are the WORST parents for other teachers to deal with in regards to these matters because we are so busy keeping our own class in line, we sometimes neglect these tasks for our own children. {It is possible that this is just my own fault and I am trying to bring other teachers down with me, I admit that!} Trying to keep up with their school events is tiring for me.

The end of school for me means LOTS of paperwork. This is my first year to do this paperwork on my own, and it is more than we had last year. That means that I have to juggle lessons and teaching with the paperwork side of my job. I am not complaining, just stating that it takes a lot out of me.

I have also committed to serve in our developing ministry Bibb County Sav-A-Life. This is a ministry I have always felt connected to and had a passion for. It is one of the only missions where you have the potential to save TWO lives at once {the baby and the mother}. But it takes time. I prayed over this decision and proceeded with Justin's blessing but it is another time consumer.

This is my last weekend of Graduate School for this semester. I have devoted a LOT of time this semester to my two classes. I set out to make A's in everything. I truly believe that you should do everything to the Lord so that others can see Him in everything that you do. This kept me going this semester when I had thoughts of just doing things "enough to get by." I have done well and expect good grades. I originally signed up for four classes this summer. My goal was to finish this degree ahead of schedule to save time and money. Upon further reflection, I have decided to cut back and enjoy some time with my family this summer. At this age my kids need me. They want me. And as I understand it, this won't always be the case so I am going taking advantage of them this summer!

I find that I have very little to give to my family. This bring thoughts of sadness, because they are my first and most important mission. These thoughts of sadness lead to negativity and before long I am not far from full out depression. I have thought things like, "I have so many things going on and I am not good at any of them." I began to worry if I was doing all that I could should for Justin. I have become very worried about my appearance and the thought of being attractive to my husband. I started to worry about all of the bad behaviors/habits of my kids {which to be honest are few and far between.} I began to take every negative comment that Justin made as a personal attack {which they were NOT.}

I read this post over At the Well. Once again God prepared in the heart of someone else the words I needed to hear. I was so humbled at this thought. Even though the author of this post was a Titus 2 Woman, I felt God speaking these words to my heart.

I realized the power I was giving these thoughts. None of these are true. It took a moment of confession for me to get over the fact that I had allowed satan to use my nasty flesh-drive mind to plant seeds of sadness. More guilt came as all of the blessings of God began to roll across my mind. I mean lets face it people, for whatever reason, I am one BLESSED gal! The guilt did not last long because God in His mercy took it from me the moment I asked. He came in and "renewed a right spirit in me" {Psalm 51:10}

So today, I am re focused on becoming more of a Titus 2 Woman :

³Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. ⁴Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, ⁵to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

I must get back to the place where my thoughts are such that I can be the help mate to Justin that I KNOW I was created to be. The one who he KNOWS he can count on to help him when he feels down or negative. The one who is not only the keeper of his heart, but the encourager to his spirit. Back to the place where I am the solid place of rest and comfort for my children. This is where my thoughts are headed today!

This post was for myself, or at least I think so. It was highly personal and telling. I cannot help but think that maybe someone needed these words, this scripture.

Is there any thoughts that you are letting rule your life that are dragging you down rather than lifting up your spirit. Things that are preventing you from being all God has for you? Trust me when I say, you can doing something about these. All you have to do is PRAY!

Praying for my friends who I might not even know are dealing with this, I pray for you.