When I read this morning's post At The Well, my heart was blessed. This is a topic that I feel very passionate about. Not in the judgmental "you should do it this way" passion, but in the "come on and show me some love for the way I do it" passion.
I believe that my job as a parent is to "raise up" my children {Ps. 22:6} That is, I am to carefully guide my children through the stages of life and always be aware of the end result. You know, I don't plan lessons at school or begin projects around the home without thinking about what the final result will be. With my children, I have to remember that I am raising adults, not children.
This is a difficult balancing act. I must be careful not to set adult expectations for my young children, but rather gauge the exceptions I set now, for a future adult goal.
For example, I do not expect Carys {5.5 YO} to be able to balance a checking account or pay bills. However, I set reasonable goals for her to learn to manage money in a way that will not hurt anyone, if she fails. She and Sawyer both have piggy banks. They are regularly given dollars and quarters from friends and family members. They are given choice on what to do with some of that money {all birthday/holiday money goes into their savings.} If they choose to spend their money now, it is gone. Or they can choose {independence} to put the money in the piggy bank and I help them{teaching} set up a purpose for that money. We always have some sort of "event" like a vacation or trip to the zoo or something where they can spend their money on an item of their choice. If one has money and the other does not, so be it. They have to be responsible for their choices to spend or save.
This "lesson" is designed with two future goals in mind (1) money management and (2) to see value in delayed gratification. See, I think too many people in my generation {including myself} did not learn this life lesson. That the feeling when you have prayed, saved, and labored over a purchase often bring so much more joy and satisfaction that when you rush to buy something that you think you need {want}.
I was stopped in a store recently when a woman witnessed the following conversation:
Sawyer {4}: "Mom, can I have this toy?"
Me: "How much is it?"
Sawyer: "Carys how much is this?"
Carys: "Um, let me see. Oh, it is $10."
Sawyer: "Carys says it is ten dollars, I guess I cannot have it today."
Me: "Yes, I think we should wait. I am buying groceries and you do not have your money with you. If you decide you want it, I am sure it will be here tomorrow and I will bring you back with your money."
Sawyer: "How long until our beach trip?"
Carys: "Two weeks, I am saving all my money for something from the beach!"
Sawyer: "Yeah, me too!"
The lady seemed appalled that my 4 and 5 year olds (1) understood about money and (2) did not expect me to buy it for them.
I will say they ARE 4 and 5 and things do not always go this nicely {just ask their grandparents} but they are learning. That is what parenting is all about! Teaching them, preparing them for the next stage in life.
There are so many other examples of how we try and teach our children about life. I could write all day! So, I have summarized some of the BIG life lessons that I am aware that my children learn from me and that I must focus on teaching them these things.
- They get their ideas about God and faith from US. By my actions they will form opinions on how big God is and what their relationship with Him can/should be.
- What marriage is all about. How wives should treat their husbands and vice versa.
- What Christian service looks like? Is it okay to be so caught up in our own lives that we forget to serve others?
- Ideas about government and law.
- They learn about Work Ethic.
- Health and Well-being.
- To be stewards of ALL that God gives to us {time, money, talents, etc...}
- How to be parents.
- How to love.
1 comment:
What a beautiful post, filled with wisdom and great insight. You are doing a great job training your children. I loved the exchange at the store the the lifelong financial lessons that were stored up in their heart for life. Thanks for sharing today.
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