Christmas Present

A wonderful Savior is Jesus my Lord,

A wonderful Savior to me.

He hideth be soul in the cleft of the rock,

and covers it there with His hand.

These words are exerpts from one of my favorite songs. They are not complete and not in the correct order. They are written here as they come into my mind on this Late Christmas night 2007. God has taken what little faith I can muster and blessed me with "peace on earth." Why he looks on me and my family with such favor I will never know.

About this time last week, I sat in a hospital room wondering if God was going to give me the one Christmas present I longed for. That would be for things to be "normal" for a little while. Christmas to be "normal" for Carys and Sawyer. I decided then to tell Satan that he and his doubtful thoughts had no place in my heart or mind. What a difference a week can make!

As I sit now, reflecting the events of this Christmas season I am in amazement of God's wonder. Last Tuesday morning, God sent an angel to me to remind me of His power. Dr. Crawford at Childrens told me the unbelievable. Carys' counts had risen so much over night that she would be able to come home for Christmas. Then again on Thursday, her counts came back even higher. Who was I to doubt the goodness and grace of the Almighty? At church on Sunday night, people continusly told me how "normal" Carys was acting and looked! Only God would put that one little word on the lips of so many people at one time.

Please father, do not let Carys and Sawyer see my faith waiver!

Now everyone is resting for our big day tomorrow. Another 5 day admission for chemo. Carys went through her first treatment so well. I actually did not realize how well until another friend of mine told me about the neasua that her daughter experienced. How thanful I am now for Carys' appitete and attitude. Thank You Thank You Thank You! I pray this trend will continue.

Tonight, Carys and I were at the hotel pool. She was recalling some events of our last beach trip. She was on treatment then and still not quite herself. (I should say, not herself at ALL!) She was in the middle of a sentance when she got the strangest look on her face. She said, "Mommy, I am sorry that I acted so ugly when we were at the beach. I promise next time to be sweet so that we can all have a good time." I could have cried. How can her little mind reason such complex issues? Please Father give me wisdom and discression in dealing with the bright child you have given to me!

With each passing moment, Carys is becoming more and more "normal" She is eating well and I think gaining weight. She is sleeping well. Acting less and less irratable. Her fits come now only when she is really tired.

Thank you Father for creating life, for your Son to make a way for me and my Children to spend eternity with You, and your Holy Spirit to comfort and guide us each day!

Although the following list could never praise God enough, here are a list of some of the "SMALL" blessings sent my way the past week.

~Carys has begun asking to go visit grandparents and friends again. Therfore, I was able to take a long, hot shower this week~

~Carys asked to sleep in her room for the first time in our new home. This is another sign she is getting back to herself~

~Each time Sawyer says "I Wuv U" I gets plainer and plainer~

~God sent me angel after angel this week to keep my faith strong and my mouth closed~