The Rock

Many times the Bible describes God as a rock. The wise man built his house upon the rock and Jesus was the foundation or cornerstone of the church. Old and New Testaments alike contain precious verses to verify that God is steady, faithful, unmovable, and unchangable in his character.
The idea for this comparison came to me last night as I tried to sleep on a hospital "chair-bed". I could not get comfortable so I decided that I needed to spend a little more time praying before falling to sleep. I had already asked God to forgive me and remove any remaining doubt from my heart. Then He reminded me that I have a strong and steady foundation; for I have chosen to build my life and family upon the ROCK and when life's storms come we have the promise of his unfailing stability.
Therefore know that the Lord your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His comandments. Deuteronomy 7:9
Wow! when was this scrpirture written? It feels like it was written yesterday but I know that actually it was a couple thousand years ago! One thing we can count on from God is that His character is unchanging.
In salvation, we (meaning I) entered a convenant with God. One where He provides us with eternal life for the "small price" of belief in the power of Jesus' blood over our sins. I say "small price" because it seems to simple for us to say but as humans with sin nature, sometimes it is difficult for people to do. That is evident beacuse there are still lost people. In this covenant, God offers grace, mercy, love, protection, guidence, and healing to our spirit when we are broken.
If you examine verses like Deuteronomy 7:9 and Romans 8:28 they testify to God's faithfulness and sovereignty. BUT, they have requirement on our end of the covenent. Deut says God is faithful to those who love Him and keep His comandments. Romans Says things work out for good for those who Love Him and are Called for His purpose.
So, I want to try today, and from now on to develop more love for Christ and His work. And most importantly after accepting Chirst as savior. I want to be in God's will and working for His purpose inorder that more people might come to know Him and reap the benifits of having the stability of Chirst "The Rock".

Christmas Present

A wonderful Savior is Jesus my Lord,

A wonderful Savior to me.

He hideth be soul in the cleft of the rock,

and covers it there with His hand.

These words are exerpts from one of my favorite songs. They are not complete and not in the correct order. They are written here as they come into my mind on this Late Christmas night 2007. God has taken what little faith I can muster and blessed me with "peace on earth." Why he looks on me and my family with such favor I will never know.

About this time last week, I sat in a hospital room wondering if God was going to give me the one Christmas present I longed for. That would be for things to be "normal" for a little while. Christmas to be "normal" for Carys and Sawyer. I decided then to tell Satan that he and his doubtful thoughts had no place in my heart or mind. What a difference a week can make!

As I sit now, reflecting the events of this Christmas season I am in amazement of God's wonder. Last Tuesday morning, God sent an angel to me to remind me of His power. Dr. Crawford at Childrens told me the unbelievable. Carys' counts had risen so much over night that she would be able to come home for Christmas. Then again on Thursday, her counts came back even higher. Who was I to doubt the goodness and grace of the Almighty? At church on Sunday night, people continusly told me how "normal" Carys was acting and looked! Only God would put that one little word on the lips of so many people at one time.

Please father, do not let Carys and Sawyer see my faith waiver!

Now everyone is resting for our big day tomorrow. Another 5 day admission for chemo. Carys went through her first treatment so well. I actually did not realize how well until another friend of mine told me about the neasua that her daughter experienced. How thanful I am now for Carys' appitete and attitude. Thank You Thank You Thank You! I pray this trend will continue.

Tonight, Carys and I were at the hotel pool. She was recalling some events of our last beach trip. She was on treatment then and still not quite herself. (I should say, not herself at ALL!) She was in the middle of a sentance when she got the strangest look on her face. She said, "Mommy, I am sorry that I acted so ugly when we were at the beach. I promise next time to be sweet so that we can all have a good time." I could have cried. How can her little mind reason such complex issues? Please Father give me wisdom and discression in dealing with the bright child you have given to me!

With each passing moment, Carys is becoming more and more "normal" She is eating well and I think gaining weight. She is sleeping well. Acting less and less irratable. Her fits come now only when she is really tired.

Thank you Father for creating life, for your Son to make a way for me and my Children to spend eternity with You, and your Holy Spirit to comfort and guide us each day!

Although the following list could never praise God enough, here are a list of some of the "SMALL" blessings sent my way the past week.

~Carys has begun asking to go visit grandparents and friends again. Therfore, I was able to take a long, hot shower this week~

~Carys asked to sleep in her room for the first time in our new home. This is another sign she is getting back to herself~

~Each time Sawyer says "I Wuv U" I gets plainer and plainer~

~God sent me angel after angel this week to keep my faith strong and my mouth closed~

Get Behind Me Satan!

I created this blog so that I could post more of my thoughts/feelings than I do on CaringBridge.

Since Carys has been back in the hospital, Satan has tried his best to get me down. Causing me to forget that God has me in His hands and the Bible promises me (His child) that no one can pluck me from His hand. Not only do I believe this means in the eternal since, but also in the daily goings on in my life.

So many people have commented on my faith over the past few months. That has a way of getting to your head! I am dissapointed to say that I have let myself and God down over the past fews days. I know that God has a plan for Carys. I am trying now to worry only about the things that are of concern in the present. We will worry about everything else when we get there.

Honestly, I think this "cancer" thing is just settling in on me. I have understood and accepted the medical side of this for a while now. However, it is just now that I see Carys as fragile as she really is. The reality that she could get sick so quickly is mortifying! They tell me that her counts were SO low that her body is trying to mount a response (causing fever) to something that is really no big deal. The scary thing is that had she come in contact with a cold or something else it could spead in her body so fast. That is why they require us to come to the hospital for care. Everyone is so great here. Being here is like being in your own little world. It is hard to imagine that stuff is going on outside. Especially Christmas preparations. Justin and I shopped for the kids but time has not allowed us to go for everyone else. Everyone keeps saying that it is not important but to me it is! It gives me a since of normalcy.

This is the other thing that Satan uses to get me down! As you might imagine it is extremly difficult to leave Sawyer at home. He is growing up so fast. It is very important to me that his development and growth not be ignored as we take care of Carys. He is momma's little man and I miss him dearly! Again, I know that God has a plan for our ENTIRE family and I cannot wait to get home and hug and kiss him!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHdcyue0bSw&feature=related This is the link to a YouTube video that I watched today. I really touched my heart. I promised God at the beginning of this journey that I would Praise His Name no matter how down I got. I forgot that today when Carys was fighting a benadryl induced sleep. She was screaming so I decided that screaming would be good for me too. God convicted me not that I had yelled at her, she will forget that soon enough, but that I made a choice not to stop, pray and ask God for strenght and guidence in the harry situation. Greater is he that is in me!!!!! So, GET BEHIND ME SATAN! I have the power and authority to tell him that in the name of Jesus.

Father, teach me to rely more on You each and every day. Thank you for the many blessings you send my way. Especially my sweet husband and children, I love Justin so much. Please help me to be there for him during this time. Thank you for "bonking" me on the head and reminding me that YOU are holy and in in contol. The "unexpected" things in my life are NOT unexpected to you.

Continue to hold us and heal Carys' body. Raise her counts to unexpected levels and amaze the Drs!

Amen