Saturday, January 7, 2012

Four years is a long time. Don't you think?

Four years ago today (January7) was one of the most difficult days of my life. It was also one of the best days of my life! It was the day I truly placed Carys Jo into God's hands. It was the day of her "big" surgery where she lost her right kidney, part of her liver, a LOT of blood, and gained her freedom from Wilms Tumor.

Typically, when children are diagnosed with Wilms they go within the hour to surgery to remove the tumor and the affected kidney. We were told right away that would not be the case with Carys. Her tumor was too large and too involved (Stage IV) to be extracted. She would have to undergo chemo first and once the tumor was "ready" they would go ahead with the surgery.

Carys' tumor had grown out of her kidney, into her renal vein, and into her inferior vena cava (which carries blood to the heart). It was like a weed; like a vine. Because these veins were involved the surgery would be super risky and we were told upfront there may not be a surgeon in Birmingham that would want to attempt such a feat. As with everything during her journey...we trusted God to work it out...and boy did He!

We met with Dr. Douglas Barnhart in late December. He showed us Carys' most recent CT scans and explained EVERYTHING about the tumor placement and his opinion about how the surgery plan should go. He then told us something I would never forget. First, he told us that because he would be cutting veins, pulling tumor out of veins (which could be very well be attached to a vessel wall) there was a great chance that her heart could stop, she could lose too much blood, she could need to go on heart bypass, or she would not survive the surgery. He actually told us that there was a better chance that she would not survive the surgery than her dying of any other cause; ever.

However, he told us that he had prayed over Carys' case for three days. That he would do commit to doing the surgery until he felt that God was guiding him and that he could do more good that harm. We knew right then that GOD was in this and Dr. Barnhart was his tool.

We made it through the holidays and prepared get the tumor out!

The night before surgery was the worst. I remember thinking, is this the last time I will see her smile, hear her say that phrase, kiss her, have her kiss me...and so on. It was tough!

The day arrived, January 7, 2008.  God held us the whole day. We were surrounded by friends and family but it was the grace of God that held us that day.

She defied the odds. Although they stopped the blood flow to the bottom of her body, although she received 5 units of blood during the surgery, and although we were told he could not remove the cancer than had metastasised to her lungs...she came out of that OR cancer free!

It was a long few days in ICU and then in the hospital but it really did not slow her down very much!

I don't tell you all this to scare you or make you feel sorry for her (or us)...I share it so that you may know...

God is good..."But as for me, God’s presence is my good. I have made the Lord GOD my refuge, so I can tell about all You do." (Ps 73:28)

God is faithful... "Hallelujah! Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His faithful love endures forever." (Ps 106:1)

God is strong..."For who is God besides the LORD? And who is a rock? Only our God." (2 Samuel 22:32)

God is powerful..."Yes, God is mighty, but He despises no one; He understands all things." (Job 36:5)

That you may know..."This is so that all the people of the earth may know that the LORD’s hand is mighty, and so that you may always fear the LORD your God.” (Joshua 4:24)

I am so unworthy of everything God has to offer me. His love, His salvation, His mercy, His grace! Despite my wretched self...He offers it all to me...and to YOU!

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